Finding Myself

A few months back, I feel I'm so useless. I feel no one cares about me. It was the saddest part of my life. When people think I'm just a stone it makes me feel miserable.

I found my friends after the it. They made me feel I belong, that I have a reason to stay. I'm just looking at the happy moments but I'm lying to myself. I tried to look so strong and look so happy as months go on. It was a happy memory.

But I did the worst thing, I did the last thing I wished to do. Still I lied to myself and believed that everything is perfect.

Until the very end. I found myself in a shoe box full of things I just did when I started to call myself "Duqs"

I got the cover of the box closed. But a shoe box is with holes where I can see the light to find myself again.

Just a few days, I pushed myself out of the box even if the hole is small. I found myself away from the things I did. But I still feel sad because I lost the times I should have used to keep myself on the right track.

I'm still KYLA, not Kyla Duqs but KYLA DUQUIATAN.

"Maybe everything is a mistake but it is an experience for me to learn with"

I Don't Know You At All

Dear Mr. Bright Side,

Well I guess I wasn't in the right place in your life. I wasn't to easy to fall to someone I just looked at. At first, I'm wondering why almost all girls likes you except on me. That moment, I got confused about it.

As I got my new friends, they asked me who I wanted or specifically my crush. Well I thought of you first and told them that you're my crush even if I didn't. 

Then things come in the point where we're always having a moment where we have an eye to eye contact that happened I think almost 20 times. It was too weird but it always happen. 

I actually never even appreciate your efforts even in dancing and how smart you are. I was like "Okay then what?" 

As time goes by I then realized that I like you. Well it was really weird but yes I do. My heart beats fast as I see you. But that moment I made an effort to decrease the feeling that came along with it. 

Well I guess I just liked the idea of someone like you. You're not the usual type of guy. You more concentrate with things who will make you happy or let me say you look so "girly". 

I know you adore someone back then. I'm not expecting your love in return, I just want you to succeed and be what you want to be. I just want to say congratulations and I wish you all the best.

Truly yours,

KD

A Look At the Truth

"This is a life full of exits and entrances" a part of a song by We Are the In Crowd. That song suggests that there are people in our life who needs to leave and there are people who will come in our life to replace them.

At first, I just loved the song because of it's tune but then as I hear the lyrics, I realized that it has a deeper message to everyone.

I like songs that only few people know, well I'm lucky to find the song who will make me realize things. I know it's so hard to let things go but as time goes by, we learn to accept that not everything is permanent.

I was too immature to care about simple things. I was too deaf to hear important people say things. I was too blind to see the things I have. I was paralyzed to move and show my love to them. I know I'm really wrong from the start, I became to careless as I grow old and see them go.

I more focus in what I would be in the future alone. I waste my time making stories that I would soon publish. I'm wasting moments watching movies I certainly not enjoy. Well I guess I had spend more of my time everyday just me, myself and I.

But during school days, I spent more time laughing with my friends. The school is the only place where I can show the real me. My friends are really different just like me. We are more one laughing and making people look funny. Teachers thought that we are bad examples. But they should look in their selves first. They never teach us. Except to out Biotech, Filipino and Science teachers which we truly love.

I'm just being honest. Those ******* ******* are the reason for my friend's near disappearance. I really hate them for making her left because they thought it is her mistake but those **** are wrong.

But in case of being mad back then, I would spend the last remaining days with her. As I know, this is a life full of exits and entrances. She was about to leave physically, but her soul will be left with us.

She is the person I wouldn't forget as she give my life a deeper meaning. DEMI LOVATO of CavSci.

This blog is too reckless.